Sokka Throws Zuko's Princely Weight Around
by NonsensicalLyrics
Summary: Zuko's a prince. He doesn't know how to use that to his advantage. Fortunately, Sokka does.  "Being a prince has some benefits. Trust me, I know. Before Suki and I were together I used those benefit all up and down the Earth Kingdom." Zutara, feat. Sokka


_A/N: Often times the politics between different nations are very complex and act as an insurmountable obstacle between two young lovers. This is not one of those times._

_ This was originally posted on the Zutara livejournal community as a response to comments on another story (like-a-dove's _In the Same Candlelight_, which, if you aren't already reading, I highly recommend) regarding speculation about what may occur in the next chapter. I'm bringing my account out of retirement to post it here._

_(I swear the title didn't sound at all dirty in my head, but I'm way to amused now to change it.)_

"What?"

Prince Zuko stared out across the frozen tundra onto the horizon and let out sigh that spoke of the deepest despair, watching as it puffed out and dissipated into the frigid air.

"You heard what I said Sokka, please, don't make me say it again," he spoke in a small, resigned voice.

"Well, yeah, it's just… I don't understand why you're being so..." Sokka paused here for a moment, his face contorting as he wracked his brain for a suitable term to match his bro's current depression of spirits from loss of hope, confidence, or courage.

"… Despondent! Yeah, that's it. Hey, Zuko, why are you being so despondent-y?"

"I just told you –"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I heard. What I mean is, so the tribe expects Katara to marry this dude from the north? So what?" Sokka demonstrated just how "so what" this was with a flippant shrug of his shoulders. Zuko turned his head to gape at his insensitivity.

"So what? So… _what_?" Zuko look back towards the horizon, than back to Sokka, than back to the horizon again. He then turned his entire body towards Sokka and threw his hands into the air and yelled.

"SO WHAT!"

"Yeah," said Sokka, "So what?

Zuko's voice came out as something between a whine and a roar. "SO! So I'm _in love_ with her, Sokka! Did you _miss_ that part? Or does that not _matter_ to you either! If Katara has to marry someone else, we can't be together!"

Sokka put a hand out.

"Woh, calm down their buddy. I care." The water-tribe boy then slung his arm around his buddy's shoulders, "Trust me, I care. I'd love nothing more than for you to whisk my baby sister away to the Fire Nation palace and to make her your Fire Lady and to have a bunch of little Fire Babies – provided I never have to hear anything about how those Fire Babies came into being – and for the two of you to live happily ever after and all that gooey lovey stuff. You know you're my boy!" With this Sokka clapped Zuko on the back, forcing the older boy to stumble forward slightly.

"So," Zuko said, straightening himself up (when had Sokka gotten so strong?), "How could you possibly be wondering why I'm feeling so…"

"Despondent?"

"Yes!"

Sokka stepped back crossing his arms and gave the prince what he thought to be an appraising look. One eye was scrunched up and his lips puckered sort of like he had just eaten a bad strawapple. It was a bit frightening.

Finally, after a length of time during which Zuko stared at the other boy expectantly, dumbfounded, and a little disturbed, Sokka spoke up.

"Really, Zuko? Or should I say _Prince_ Zuko?" Sokka took care to put emphasis on the '_Prince'_.

Zuko wasn't following.

Sokka sighed. "Or, should I say, _Prince_, _heir to the most Fire Nation, the powerful kingdom nation in the world, _Zuko," he said, putting extra special emphasis on the entire phrase. It was a bit of a mouthful, and his face turned a bit purple with all the effort he was putting into emphasizing.

Zuko still didn't follow.

"Avatar-fucking-Aang, Zuko!" Sokka said, it now his turn to whine-roar, "You're a._ Fucking. Prince._"

Zuko winced at his language, looking around to make sure there weren't any little old ladies or children around to have their ears tainted. Sokka went on.

"A dumbass, prince, yeah, but a prince nonetheless, and being a prince has some benefits. Trust me, I know. Before Suki and I were together I used those benefits all up and down the earth kingdom."

"But Sokka, I thought the Southern Water Tribe didn't really have princes and princesses…"

Sokka gave a lascivious wink and grinned.

"Yeah, but they didn't know that."

"Uh… right," Zuko said, almost forgetting for a moment to be despondent, "But I don't see what that has to do with anything right now. Katara's not the type of girl to care about things like titles, and even if she were, it wouldn't matter, she already loves me. The problem isn't her, it's the tribe."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, man! It's not a problem!"

"It's not?"

"Nope, no problem whatsoever."

Much to Sokka's dismay Zuko still didn't follow.

"Oh, come on, Zuko. You really think that if Mr. Prince-Zuko-Heir-to-the-Fire-Nation-Crown-and-All-Around-Eligible-Bachelor-Extraordinaire waltzes on in wanting to marry the chief's daughter they're gonna say, 'Nope, sorry, no-can-do, we promised her to some yokel up north, but here, have some seal jerky as a conciliation prize'?"

"Well, not in so many words…"

"Hellz no, they wouldn't, they'd -"

"But Sokka," Zuko quickly interjected before he could go on, "I can't imagine they'd really be all _that_ eager to just break their promise for some interloping foreigner…"

"Hey," Sokka said, once again slinging an arm around Zuko's shoulders and leading him bodily back into the village and towards the chief's hut, "I didn't say they'd offer her up to you on a silver platter, but they aren't going to outright refuse you. You're a prince! Throw your princely weight around!"

"But Sokka!" This time it was definitely much more of a whine than a roar, "I can't do that! That's not… that's not _honorable_…"

"Oh, come on, you pussy. What – letting the woman you love – my _sister_, might add – marry someone she barely knows and doesn't love when you could do something about it _is_ honorable? This is my _sister_, Zuko, my _baby sister_, whom it is my personal responsibility as big brother to look out for. I know you have a screwed up family and don't really get how sibling dynamics usually play out, but think real hard here before you answer."

By this time they had reached the chief's hut. Zuko looked for a long time at the doorway before closing his eyes.

"Sokka," he began his voice even and resigned, "I love your sister more than…"

"Great! It's settled then, let's go!" Sokka grabbed Zuko's arm and pulled him after as he marched into the hut.

Inside they found the chief and the representative from the Northern Water Tribe in deep conversation across the table from each other. Katara sat next to her father in resigned silence.

"Ugh!" Sokka barked by way of introduction, "What is with you two and being all resigned and despondent all the time?"

Katara, Chief Hakoda, and the Northern representative all look up at the intrusion to see the chief's eldest child dragging a forlorn and… was that, panicked?... looking dark haired and pale skinned youth behind him, who on closer inspection was revealed to be the young prince of the Fire Nation.

"Son..? Chief Hakoda asked. Katara, for her part, looked to be torn between bafflement and melancholy at the sight of her brother manhandling her beloved, while the Northern representative, an older gentleman with kind eyes, simply looked a little amused.

"Hey, Dad, sorry to interrupt, but my old pal Zuko here has a request he'd like to make." With this Sokka shoved the aforementioned old pal forward and waited for him to speak. Poor Zuko just gaped silently at the group in a wordless apology.

When it became clear that nothing was going to be said, Sokka interceded.

"Okay, scratch that. _I_ have a request to make on his behalf, since our dear Prince Zuko here seems to find himself a little tongue tied."

"Sokka, will you please get on with it, we have business to discuss."

Sokka waved this off and strolled forward, once again pulling Zuko with him.

"Sure thing, Dad." He leaned towards his father with one hand flat on the table next to the representative.

"Now, I know that we've promised that Katara would marry this guy, Warrior What's-His-Name…" Sokka let go of Zuko's arm to wave his hand vaguely in the air, as if the name would magically fall into it.

"Kabo," the representative supplied helpfully.

"Yes, thank you," Sokka nodded to the man, "Warrior What's-His-Kabo. But, you see, we've had a little development here.

" It seems that my friend Prince Zuko, heir to the Fire Nation throne, and, let me tell you, generally a swell guy," here Sokka turned to again address the representative, "I know, he seems a little, eh, at first, but once you get to know him he's really a great guy. He's just a little, you know, reserved. Silent type."

The representative nodded in understanding and looked, inspecting the prince, who stood a little behind Sokka, clearly uncomfortable, his eyes darting back and forth between Katara, her brother, the chief, and his shoes.

"Anyway, Zuko, who, by the way, is a genuine, honest to goodness _prince_, with all sorts of unimaginable wealth and power, is in love with our little Katara. Who, it is my understanding, is herself quite taken with the young man. Did I mention that he's a prince?"

Chief Hakoda rolled his eyes and said patiently, "Yes, I think you might have mentioned it."

Sokka shrugged, "Just wanted to make sure."

"Please continue, Sokka."

"Right. So, I know there have already been some preliminary agreements made with our Northern cousins concerning Katara's hand going to Warrior Kabob –" here the representative gave a snort which he quickly covered up with a cough.

"But," Sokka continued, "I think, considering the circumstances, it would be forgivable if we remitted on our promise and instead allowed her hand to go to the future-Fire Lord Zuko. Wouldn't you agree?"

Chief Hakoda stared at Sokka wearily for a moment before looking to his daughter. Her eyes were locked with Zuko's and the two were staring at each other with so much longing it was almost indecent. He then looked to the Northern representative, who smiled and shrugged.

The chief leaned back in his chair, folded his hands together, and leveled his gaze at the prince. He had to clear his throat to get the young man's attention.

Zuko ripped his eyes from Katara's and met those of chief, who eyed him for a full five seconds, just to make him sweat.

"I think," he said at last, "that an arrangement could be made."

Zuko's jaw dropped.

"Really?" he said, the first word he had spoken since entering the hut, as if barely daring to believe it.

When the chief nodded, he grinned and turned back to Katara. His love returned the grin as she darted up from her seat with a squeal and launched herself at Zuko, who eagerly caught her and vowed in his head to never let her go.

Figuratively, of course, because after holding each other in a tight embrace for just long enough to make everyone else in the room uncomfortable, Zuko had to let her go so Katara could punch her brother.

"Ow! What in the spirit world was that for?" Sokka said, rubbing his shoulder in pain.

"La, Sokka, you are unbelievable! I can't believe I'm related to you!" she bit out, but a moment later her arms flung themselves around his neck in a quick embrace before she pulled a still grinning Zuko out of the hut to go who-knows-where to do they-really-didn't-want-to-know-what.

"I hope," Chief Hakoda said after a moment, rising from his chair, "That everyone up north will understand…"

"I'm sure they will," the Northern representative assured him, also rising, "How could you refuse the future Fire Lord? Especially when he and your daughter are looking at each other like."

"My thoughts exactly!" Sokka chimed in.

"After all," the chief lightly said as he and representative made their way out the door, "There's always my son."

"Yeah, and, I mean, come one, the guy's a prince, after – hey! Wait a minute! You're kidding, right, Dad?" Sokka cried out as he ran after them.

_A/N: This was originally intended to be much crackier than it ended up (my original comment said something along the lines of that Zuko needing to just pop down to the Souther Tribe and be like, "I'm a motherfucking prince, I get first priority!") but it ended up kind of sweet in the end. Hope you enjoyed! I almost never write fanfiction, and if you review I might be motivated enough to do it more often :P_


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